Feeling guilty about your carbon footprint when you fly? Well, then the new airline Derrie-Air is the airline for you.
The airline's ad copy appearing in today's Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News reads:
"Welcome to Derrie-Air, the world's only carbon-neutral luxury airline, where you don't have to choose between living the high life and saving the planet. Nine out of ten scientists agree—we need to reduce our carbon emissions or perish from the face of the earth. Air travel is one of the biggest sources of carbon emissions and global warming. Derrie-Air will be the only airline that plants trees to offset every pound of carbon that our planes release into the atmosphere."
"But not only will we do our part to protect the environment, we will expect you, our passengers, to do your part as well. The magic comes from our one of a kind "Sliding Scale'—the more you weigh, the more you'll pay. After all, it takes more fuel—more energy—to get more weight from point A to point B. So we will charge passengers based on how much mass they add to the plane. The heavier you and your luggage are, the more trees we'll plant to make up for the trouble of flying you from place to place."
You can fly from Philadelphia to LA for $2.25 per pound, Philadelphia to Chicago for $1.40 per pound, Philadelphia to Dallas for $1.60 per pound, and so on.
Your weight is computed as being both your own weight and that of your luggage. But for that, listen to what airline promises:
"First of all there will be no class distinctions inside of a Derrie-Air jet. Every passenger will be treated like royalty. Every seat will be first class. There will simply be too many extras and treats on our flights to list here, but highlights will include: gorgeous air hosts and hostesses, golden-age Rat Pack films, top-shelf vodka Martinis, on-demand video blackjack, spacious private washrooms outfitted with porcelain fixtures and gilded faucets, gourmet snacks, on-board masseuses, loofah scrubs and, of course, digital cable!"
Sounds to good to be true, right?
Well, it is.
The ad was a hoax prepared by Philadelphia Media Holdings, the owners of the two Philly papers. The goal was to "demonstrate the power of our brands in generating awareness and generating traffic for our advertisers, and put a smile on people's faces."
Ah, exploiting power of the Internet for fun and profit.
And yes, I am (as is the AP and all the other press outlets who are running the story) helping them in their quest.
